Saint Izaya in Hell
by Prustrian Informant
Summary: Oneshot songfic done out of boredom. Posted from demand. Izuo: Izaya takes up his usual challenge, seducing and topping his foe, only to find it a bit shocking at the results...


_If somebody up there likes me somebody up there cares_  
><em>Deliver me from evil save me from these wicked snares<em>  
><em>Not into temptation, not to cliffs to fall<em>  
><em>On to revelation, and lesson for us all<em>

"I want you to meet someone," Shinra said as Izaya adjusted his tie.

"Meet someone?"

"He works at another busi-"

"Izayaaaaaaaaa-kunnnnnnnnnn~" the growl went through the room and Shinra grinned as he turned.

"Nevermind, I guess you know Shizuo already."

_He walked into the room on the arm of my best friend_  
><em>I knew whatever happened our friendship would end<em>  
><em>Chemical reaction, desire at first sight<em>  
><em>Mystical attraction, turned out all my lights<em>

Holy sweet goodness, Izaya ran his eyes over the blond as Shizuo walked in, being escorted by Kadota. Kadota sent the informant a warning gaze as he led Shizuo away, but Izaya only found himself smirking more. He deposited his jacket into a chair and followed after them, Shinra hanging to his arm like a bracelet. His gaze was not unmet. Shizuo stared at him as he was led away, his eyes blazing with hatred.

Ah, but there was lust in those eyes as well. Maybe hidden behind all that ire, but it was burning, calling forth to him and Izaya was never one to resist a challenge.

The need to troll these people dimmed as the smell of fresh meat met his person. Shizuo was just too tempting, too fascinating to pass up. Besides, Shiki had told him to behave at this event. What better way than seducing such a beast for kicks?

_The minute I saw his face the second I caught his eye_

Izaya smirked amused at the young actor in the area before catching Shizuo's gaze, still watching him. He made a slicing motion towards the actor before quickly leaving the room, pulling himself free of his doctor escort. He sprinted down the hall as he heard the pounding footsteps following after him.

His gaze met the shadowed figure of the ex-bartender, sprinting after him. The duo ran for the stairs and took them two at a time, Izaya leaping over the railing as they ascended higher and higher. Crimson peeking back to meet a pair of furious mocha eyes.

Just a little further…

_The minute I touched the flame I knew it would never die_

"You are still following me? What a pansy!" Izaya laughed as he heard the roar of fury behind him. He didn't stop though, he continued to stoke the fire of anger in the blond. His amusement never seizing. He wanted to run forever, to make him follow him to the very ends of the earth…

_The minute I saw his face the second I caught his eye_

Izaya froze a split second before launching himself into a nearby door on the top floor. He began to shut the door only to find it stuck. A foot gave way to a hand, prying the door open. A smirking blond threw the door open and Izaya found himself looking straight into the eyes of temptation. He backed away until he met a boardroom table, he sat down and grinned a moment before springing from the wooden object, tackling the man to the ground. His lips met the brute's a moment before their clothes went flying from their bodies, tossed haphazardly as the fight continued.

_The minute I touched the flame I knew it would never die_

"Izaya…" Shizuo squirmed underneath him, his eyes blazing. "I will kill you for this."

"You love the feeling of me in you." Izaya all but purred into the man's ear, stroking the man's erection as he thrust into him. "You love being my uke."

"I will murder you…"

_I __don't __know __if __it's __pain __or __pleasure __that __I __seek  
>My <em>_flesh __was __all __too __willing, __my __spirit __guide __was __weak_

Fingers dug into his arms as Izaya felt the man under him climax. Unable to resist, Izaya followed suit, spilling himself into the man. He collapsed into a hard chest as arms wrapped around him, pinning him to the ground. He laughed, unable to resist the pleasure of his pain. Teeth met his neck, but Izaya was used to this. It was his revenge after all. Shizuo had to get something back, besides a what what in the butt.

"I hate you."

"Everyone does." Izaya replied, enjoying his complete bliss.

"I hate you more than anything."

"Shizu-chan…"

Footsteps met them as they both looked up to find Shizuo's underling at the doorway, holding their jackets.

_I was deadly certain thoughts for me weren't kind  
>A switchblade in his pocket, murder on her mind<br>_

Vorona pulled the switchblade from Izaya's coat pocket and flicked it open, "forgive me sempai, but I won't let him torture you any further."

Her heels clicked upon the wood floors a moment before Izaya felt the knife plunge into his chest. Still too satisfied from his hunt, he took the pain as pleasure, watching the stunned reaction of Shizuo.

"Vorona! What the fuck?"

"I hope you burn in hell forever, Izaya-san." Vorona hissed.

_Blessed St. Theresa the whore of Babylon_  
><em>Madonna and my mother all rolled into one<em>  
><em>You've got to understand me, I'm not a piece of wood<em>  
><em>Francis of Assisi could never be this good<em>

Izaya felt the strength slowly leave him as Shizuo pushed at his underling, screaming at her. His face burning in fury. He all but hit her, pointing at him and shaking his head. She bowed her head, unable to understand.

_The minute I saw his face the second I caught his eye_  
><em>The minute I touched the flame I knew it would never die<em>  
><em>The minute I saw his face the second I caught his eye<em>  
><em>The minute I touched the flame I knew it would never die<em>

Hands pulled him up, tears hitting his face as the blond screamed at him. He stood up, his face getting hazier and hazier…

Izaya shut his eyes, letting the crying face of his foe burning in his mind's eye.

_**Relax, have a cigar,**_

Izaya opened his eyes and frowned. "I don't smoke," he told the figure in black, holding the offered tobacco.

_**make yourself at home.**_

"I would rather go back to my own residence, this looks like a low class residence…" Izaya paused as he looked around. "Wait… I'm in hell?"

**Hell is full of high court judges, failed saints. We've got Cardinals, Archbishops, barristers, certified accountants, music critics, they're all here. **

"That's nice. It looks unsanitary though… and I don't particularly enjoy the isolation feeling of this place. It feels kind of lonely here." He smirked a bit as a monster screamed in agony outside the room.

_**You're not alone.**_

"I'm feeling pretty alone…"

**_You're__never__alone,__not__here__you're__not._ **

"Nmm… No. Not feelin' the atmosphere here. I don't believe I will stay. I think I will just turn around-" The figure held his arm out, successfully keeping him in place before shoving him out the window and shouting to the flames of the world.

**OK break's over.**

Izaya wished to shut his eyes, feeling the flames lick at him as he fell. Fell down into the endless abyss. He did something he'd never done before as he saw the demons below him. He prayed. His swore to the very figures of religion. He would stop sending people to suicide. He would stop the gang war instigating…

He would confess to Shizuo…

His eyes opened again to find himself in a hospital bed. He nearly sobbed at the feeling of the warm bed, the sound of the heart monitor telling him he was alive.

_The less I need the more I get_  
><em>Make me chaste but not just yet<em>  
><em>It's a promise or a lie I'll repent before I die<em>

Maybe they should have known it was Orihara Izaya making those promises. He did not fall for scare tactics, not even from hell.

~.~

**A/N: …I don't even know. Do what you will with this. I spent too much time listening to this song. **

**Btb the song is "Saint Augustine In Hell" by Sting. Good song, brilliant lyrics, and overall it's just amusing to think of Izaya as a saint. Really… I just see him as the saint to trolls…**

**Review****I****guess.**


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